


a free world.

by pocketsizedtitan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 18:02:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3659841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketsizedtitan/pseuds/pocketsizedtitan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They didn’t know the first thing about the outside world, or the stars that were already dead or the animals that lived in a free world. They set out on an expedition to scout and map as much of the land beyond the walls as possible, not knowing what they’ll find; clueless about freedom and love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a free world.

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted on [tumblr](http://pocketsizedtitan.co.vu/post/115203175186/a-free-world-1-2).

“What do you suppose it is?”

Armin flipped through a book while Eren’s gaze remained on the creature ahead. It was hard to read beneath moonlight alone, but Armin kept his face near the pages, mumbling beneath his breath, but still loud enough to hear: “Canis lupus, also known as a wolf…” 

Eren leaned a bit closer towards the edge of the bluff they sat upon; just a few feet above the clearing below. The wolf, as Armin identified it as, prowled beneath them, coat a visible gray even in the night. 

“…basic unit consists of a mated pair and their offspring, with the average pack a family of five to eleven…”

A pack, huh, Eren thought. There were no signs of a pack for this one. It was alone there, small in the large clearing, with the looming of forestry that surrounded them. That was the thing about this outside world - everything seemed bigger than them. Compared to them, to humans and this wolf, the world was large. The moon was large. The stars were never ending.

“There’s this theory that the stars we see are already dead,” Armin once told him.

_That_ was a crazy thought. That the world beyond the stars and moon was so large, so vast that it took billions and billions of years for things to register on their end, and that what they saw wasn’t even how it actually  _was_ but what it used to be.

“It’s beautiful,” Eren said, right in the present. He wasn’t sure if he was talking about the dead stars or the moon or the wolf. Probably a combination of both. There was something lonely about that endless night sky and the pack-less wolf below. Maybe the wolf once had a family but that family died to titans. Maybe it grew up abandoned. 

It reminded him of someone.

Armin shut his book, tucking it over his lap as he turned his eyes to the wolf. “We’re lucky this area is uninhabited by titans.”

Eren nodded his agreement. 

“Then again, the further we go, the less titans we encounter.”

“Do you suppose that wolf’s ever seen a titan before?” Eren asked.

“…I hope not.”

“Same here. I wonder what it must be like to never have seen a titan.”

Armin’s smile was wistful. “We will never know.”

“Alright, you two,” they looked up to their Captain heading towards them, “I’ll take over watch from here on. Get some shut eye.”

They stood up, Armin giving his thanks as he headed towards a tent. Eren stayed behind, his gaze momentarily lingering on Levi before flickering to the lone wolf below. He wanted just one last look, but was startled to find another wolf had joined it. 

“Ah, it has a pack,” Eren said with a smile.

Levi raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing. Goodnight, Captain.”

Their big world seemed less lonely.

* * *

Eren learned that there were different constellations in the sky. Armin told him what they were, consulting one of the many books he’d brought along. The Big Dipper amused Eren the most.

“Man,” Jean groused as the squad set up camp like they did every night. Travel was slow when going through new terrain (considering they had to map everything) and despite needing rest every night, it was still a pain to constantly have to pack and unpack, “I can’t wait to sleep in a warm bed again.”

“Be glad this is only for three more months,” Connie said, dumping wood down for a campfire. “I heard they were trying to make this expedition last a year. Or longer.”

Sasha finished hammering a stake into the earth, the girl’s tent all set up. “I wouldn’t mind spending a year sleeping beneath the stars.”

“Crazy,” Jean muttered.

“Well,” Christa removed a pack from the wagon, pots rattling inside, “It  _is_ the first sanctioned expedition, so they wanted to play it safe.”

“Mikasa and Ymir are getting dinner,” Levi said, having already discarded his cloak and jacket. It was a warm night. The squad took turns setting up camp, gathering food and cooking, “Jean and Connie, you two have first watch tonight.”

“Aye-aye, Captain,” was the usual, unenthusiastic chorus. 

“I wonder how far this river goes,” Armin muttered, mostly to himself. The map was unraveled over dirt, the most solid and even ground he could find. He tapped a pencil against the paper before sketching the river onto the route they’d been following. He stopped to scan the area. 

After they cleared the forest, their route continued on uneven territory. Without any roads, it made dragging the wagon along unsettling, but despite that, they remained unharmed and safe. And thus far, no signs of any titans. The only living beings they’d come across were bugs and other wild life; mostly unconcerned deer that didn’t seem to feel threatened by their presence.

“Hey, Armin, check this out.”

Armin joined Eren atop the hill he stood on, looking for all the world like a conqueror who just claimed new land. In a way, that was exactly what they were. Conquerors. Reclaiming their world.

Slowly, the mountains far ahead came into view. They didn’t look far away, to be honest. But Armin knew it would take days for them to reach those mountains, understood that those mountains would take even more days to cut through. Probably terribly dangerous, too. But he knew now where the river ran to and could draw it and mark the mountains on the map.

“Do you think there’s an ocean on the other side?”

Armin glanced at his childhood friend and smiled. “Yeah. Yeah I do.”

Dinner was the usual affair. It ended with the girls in their tent, Armin passed out in the boy’s one, and Jean and Connie taking their designated watch a few yards away and out of view of the campfire. 

Eren had been too busy exploring the area to join the others for dinner. It was only after Levi made him bathe in the river did he finally get to eat. Not that he minded when it meant a quiet moment with his Captain. Those were hard to come by these past couple of months when the squad was mostly together, but the night was usually (as Eren selfishly and secretly thought) for them.

“Eren.”

“Yes, Captain?”

“We will be taking second watch. Get some sleep.”

“You, too, Captain.” Eren held his empty bowl with one hand, his other hand raised as fingertips grazed Levi’s cheekbone. He smiled. “The circles under your eyes have gotten darker.”

_And whose fault is that_ , Levi wondered as Eren’s hand retracted; fingers leaving behind a tingling warmth. No one but his own, he thought. For when they slept, Levi slept closest to the left wall of the tent with Eren right at his back. 

His own fault, Levi knew. For when it was time for their watch, Eren was already waiting, standing outside by the river. 

In the outside world, the nights were strangely bright when there were no clouds or trees to hide the moon; no walls to encompass them. Seeing Eren there, illuminated with the world all around them, made Levi realize how much this free world suited him.

Made Levi see his own faults.

Every time Eren wandered away, every time he turned to face the world opposite of the walls that made up their home, Levi was left with the feeling that one day, Eren would keep going forward and leave everyone behind.

“Cap—” Eren started to say upon hearing the crunch of footsteps over dirt and rocks, but arms were already circling around him from behind. Cold fingers slipped beneath his shirt, skirted over abdominal muscles, drawing a small gasp in response.

Ever since they started this expedition, things had been a bit different between them. Things had already been a bit different  _before_ the expedition; little glances, small touches, and some times Eren would find his Captain staring at him in a peculiarly fond way that had Eren’s stomach twisting. And then they started sleeping next to each other in the tent, and at first things were normal. 

Eren would make Levi his tea. Their fingertips would touch when he’d pass the cup over. Levi would call his name and Eren would answer with Captain. Eren would know what Levi wanted before he had to ask, and he’d smile whenever Levi thanked him. But now everything was accompanied with a stuttered heart.

“Captain,” Eren had once said, on a night like tonight, when it was just the two of them. “I want to see  _all_ of this world so much it hurts.”

Levi had reached over, his hand had grabbed the back of Eren’s neck, his fingers had curled and gripped the hairs there. He had pulled Eren to him, had kissed Eren, had slipped his tongue into Eren’s mouth just as Eren had whimpered. That sound had been so startling, like a gun shot, for Levi had pulled away so hard and fast; eyes had been so dark and bright and  _angry_.

At himself. 

But Eren had pulled him back, hadn’t let him run away or given him time to compose himself. Things had never been the same after.

And now, Eren shuddered as cold fingers turned warm against his flesh. He melted against the solid body behind him, bit down on the hem of his skirt stuffed into his mouth. 

It was all so… strange for Eren. He’d never been interested in doing things like this with other people — laughable, really, for a hot blooded young man like himself. Even as a growing teenager, his mind had been on other things, too possessed with the idea of eradicating all titans and saving humanity. When you were humanity’s hope, you didn’t have time for teenage hormones to get the best of you.

At nineteen, Eren was okay with learning these strange new sensations.

He wondered if it was normal for someone to feel so  _desperate_ just from having their nipples played with. He wondered if it was normal to arch his back because he wanted more, because the feel of something hard touching and pressing against his rear was enough to make his heart beat loud and fast in his chest. 

“Eren,” Levi murmured into his ear. He kissed his shoulder, kissed his neck, kissed the back of his nape. The teeth that scraped the skin there sent a trickle of warmth throughout Eren’s body; shirt falling from his mouth as his knees gave out beneath him and they sunk to the earth together.

Eren wanted to ask why Levi said his name that way, like he was desperate for something, but a hand pressed between his legs and Eren’s mind stopped working. It felt hot there, uncomfortably so, but his thighs squeezed reflexively as the hand pressed harder.Levi’s palm dug into his crotch, moving in a rubbing motion as his fingers gripped Eren through the thin fabric of his pants.

His head fell back against Levi’s shoulder. Like this, he faced the stars. Like this, with Levi so close, he could feel eyelashes flutter against his other shoulder, where it was bare and exposed because his shirt had slipped down the curve of his bicep. Like this, he could feel the puff of breath against skin, the teasing nip of teeth, the excitement that fluttered in his belly with every grind of Levi’s palm.

“Quiet, Eren.”

He hadn’t realized he’d let out a noise - a needy little whimper - when Levi removed his hand to slip them beneath his pants and underwear. His abdomen fluttered, goosebumps ghosting over flesh, thighs quaking and knees knocking with anticipation. Everything in him pulsed with a thrumming energy, as if he was going to burst at any moment and his body couldn’t make sense of any of it. Not that it was cold. Eren felt hot, so hot, and he wondered if this was what a dying star felt like.

The heat inside didn’t fade, not even when Levi tugged Eren’s pants down, just enough to pull out his cock. It only built up with every long, tender stroke; Eren’s groan breaking into a muffled whimper as Levi hooked an arm beneath one of his knees, tugging his legs apart. His toes curled in his boots, his own hands coming up to muffle any sounds.

There was a gentle kiss against his shoulder and neck, but the hand that jerked him off - the thumb that rubbed over the tip of his head - was anything but. Nails digged into Eren’s thigh as Levi worked him up and down and up and down, grasp harsh and unrelenting until Eren was quivering and collapsing into himself as he came.

Levi held him until the thrumming in his body died down.

* * *

“We make our way back today.”  
 ****

The squad acknowledged their captain with a nod.

“Will we be heading back the same way we came?” Mikasa asked.

“It is the safest route, so yes,” was Levi’s reply.

The original plan had been to go back to the walls via a long u-turn, in hopes of mapping out areas further out. But the fact that their original route had been safe and uneventful, it was better  _not_ to risk the journey home.There would be other expeditions in the future, after all.

Mikasa frowned as she looked around camp. “Where is Eren?”

Levi pulled himself off the log he sat on. “I’ll go find him. Finish breaking camp.”

“Yes, sir.”

There was a small set of woods a few yards from the camp that Levi walked into. It didn’t take long before he could hear the trickle of a creek, and a few seconds later, he was breaking through the thickest of trees into a thinner area. Eren sat on a boulder, tossing a few stones into the water.

“Eren.”

He didn’t respond. Levi sighed, kicking up rocks as he walked closer.

“We’ll be heading out soon.”

“Mm,” Eren mumbled.

It wasn’t very often that Eren was difficult with Levi. If ever, now that he thought about it. Usually when Levi called his name, Eren always,  _always_ answered. He always went to Levi without hesitation. He never purposely kept his gaze averted. Eren never purposely avoided  _him_.

Levi wasn’t sure how to handle this side of him, so he waited.

Eventually, Eren finished tossing the stones in his hands, shoulders slumped. “You know what I don’t understand, Captain?”

Levi’s gaze remained patient, and still, Eren didn’t look at him.

“Why don’t you ever — why—” Eren took in a deep breath, as if gathering the courage to say whatever it was he wanted to say, “—you won’t let me touch you, too.”

This wasn’t what Levi expected. He hadn’t known what to expect, really, but this wasn’t it. An eyebrow shot into his forehead and disappeared behind his bangs. “…Is this about last night?”

Eren’s head gave a jerky nod, followed by a muttered: “And all the other nights before.”

“Can’t you believe me when I say that I am happy to just touch you?”

From where he stood, Levi could see the way Eren’s ears turned pink. His voice was small, “It would make  _me_ happy to touch  _you_ , too.”

“Eren,” Levi reached a hand out, fingers carding through brown locks. He twirled a strand between thumb and index, expression calm, “There is a lot more I wish to do with you, but our circumstances don’t allow it.”

And finally, Eren looked at him, surprising Levi with how earnest and determined his eyes were, “But that doesn’t mean I can’t touch you!”

Instead of rebuffing him or coming up with another excuse, Levi accepted his words with a nod. There was no proper way to explain how or why Levi held himself back; why he constantly kept Eren at a distance and only allowed himself to touch rather than be touched. Everything he’d ever done, did, still continued to do was a testament to Levi’s self-control, and he feared how easily it could shatter. It was a cliche, stupid reason, but it was the only thing that kept him on his toes.

The adult side of him wanted to keep Eren unbound to him. The other - darker - side of him; the desperate part that feared the day Eren would leave wanted to bind them together in every way possible so that he’d stay.

Levi was sure, beyond anything, that if he asked Eren right then and there to be  _his_ , Eren wouldn’t hesitate to say yes. He’d probably smile, all happy and bright, all willing. And the darkness in Levi would fester and he’d never let the boy with green eyes go.

He knelt in front of him, knee digging awkwardly into rocks. Levi ignored it in favor of taking Eren’s hand in his.

“If that is what you want,” he said.

“Yes.”

“I am a tired, old man, Eren.”

“You’re not  _that_ old, Captain.”

“Levi. When it’s just us, it’s Levi only.”

“Levi,” Eren mumbled, a little shy, but joyful.

“Eren.” Levi lifted himself up on both of his knees, one hand grasping the back of Eren’s nape, tugging him down into a kiss. It was their second one.

It was sweeter than their first, but they could taste the desperation that lingered.

When they were done, Levi stood up, tugging Eren with him. The rest of the squad was probably almost finished breaking camp; most likely wondering what was taking their captain and Eren so long.

Before they got too far away from the creek, a tug at Levi’s cloak had him halting. Eren was looking down, his cheeks flushed a red hue, tongue flicking out across dry lips as he asked, “Before we — I just — can I— I  _want_ —”

Levi shuddered. He realized it wasn’t from the wind. It was because there was a dark thrill that hummed inside, a white hot fire that twisted his stomach because of the underlying hint beneath Eren’s words.

Not giving Levi any time to back away, Eren hooked his fingers through Levi’s belt. 

They were trembling, Levi noticed. Not from fear, technically. From rejection, maybe.

“Okay,” Levi said, voice hoarse. 

And when Eren dropped to his knees over the patch of grass below, Levi’s own fingers trembled with the effort it took to loosen his belt. His heart beat hard in his chest as he unbuttoned his pants; as Eren impatiently tugged the zipper down, as hot fingers reached beneath for Levi’s cock.

He’d been perfectly content, perfectly excited to just touch Eren himself. There was nothing more lovely than hearing Eren trying to keep his moans down.

But this was excitement on a different level. This was anticipation and desperation - because Levi was so,  _so_ desperate for Eren in every way possible - and here was Eren. On his knees. Willing and  _wanting_ to do this  _for Levi_.

Levi who’d never been affectionate or had affection turned to him.

Levi whose hands tightened through brown locks as a red tongue flicked out against his flaccid cock. 

Levi who let out a throaty groan as Eren licked him, swirled his tongue around the slowly erecting tip; tentative and uncertain. And gods this was probably Eren’s first time, everything Levi had done had been Eren’s first time, and the only person at fault was Levi for never being strong enough to push him away.

He was a weak man, weak to the mouth on him, weak to temptation and lust and desire and the need to possess.

_Humanity’s Strongest_. Not really.

It didn’t matter that this was Eren’s first time because Levi wanted him, needed him, and when Eren glanced up at him with those big eyes, it was all Levi could do to not shove himself deep down his throat.

Eren learned it was easier to take him in his mouth when he was still somewhat soft. But the harder he got, the bigger he grew, the harder it became. He was glad the creek somewhat drowned out the slurping noises he was making, glad no one was around to see them like this; to see Levi leaning back against a tree while Eren sucked him off.

“…do you think they went off to?”

The two froze, recognizing Mikasa’s voice.

“They shouldn’t be far.” Armin.

“They should have been back by now.”

“Mikasa, I’m sure they’ll be back any moment. We should just wait at camp.”

Eren thought to pull away before his two childhood friends stumbled upon them, but Levi’s grip in his hair kept him firmly in place. Their eyes met, Eren momentarily distracted by Levi’s tongue as he clicked his lips; by the heat in gray eyes as the man started to rock his hips, slow, slow, slow. His cock slid in and out of Eren’s mouth, never going too deep, pulling out just so that the tip pressed to plump lips.

Eren had to remind himself to keep his jaws relaxed, to not make any noises as his tongue rubbed the underside.

“I thought I heard something.”

Armin laughed. “Mikasa, that was probably a wild animal. Come, let’s go back and wait with the others.”

“But—”

Eren’s eyes fluttered shut. It was stifling like this, but heat pulsed between his legs and he realized he was strangely turned on by Levi holding his head in place. He was strangely excited by everything, by being on his knees, by using his mouth to get Levi off, by the fear of getting caught.

Mikasa sighed. “Okay, Armin.”

He didn’t know if they had left. He didn’t know if they were still close by, but Eren reached into his own pants and hastily started to jerk himself off to every glide of Levi’s cock in and out of his mouth and like that they came together; Levi spilling down his throat and Eren into his hands.

“Such a mess,” Levi murmured, slipping out of Eren’s mouth. His thumb brushed away saliva and cum that dribbled down his chin.

Eren had gagged at the taste, only managing to swallow a little. He resisted the urge to wipe his face with the sleeve of his shirt. “I’ll go clean myself off, sir— er, Levi.”

While Eren did just that, heading off to wash his mouth and hands in the creek, Levi fixed himself up.

He’d thought that if he let Eren do this one thing this one time, maybe Levi’s fix would be satisfied. Maybe he could go back to only touching Eren. Maybe he could go back to the distance between them, and eventually say goodbye when the world took Eren away from him.

His body felt numb and warm from the aftermath, but the ugly darkness in Levi wasn’t satisfied. He didn’t think it ever could be.

Eren grinned as he returned to him, spotlights of sun that filtered through the trees dancing across his hair and skin. 

“How do you feel about the world, Eren?” Levi asked as they made their way back to camp.

He contemplated the question for a moment. “I think… it’s amazing. It’s big and wide, and no expedition will ever be able to cover the extent of it.”

Levi nodded. “If you had the chance, would you want to see it all?”

Eren stared at the glimpses of blue sky and clouds through the tops of the trees. “After I see the ocean with Armin and Mikasa, yeah. My next plan is to see the whole world.”

“That suits you.”

The comment startled Eren. He looked back to Levi, his mouth opening to say something, to ask something perhaps, but the voices at camp interrupted them.

“It’s about damn time,” was Jean’s impatient remark.

Whatever Eren was going to ask died away when Levi smiled at him. A knowing, tired smile before it slipped away into his usual mask.

“Let’s head out.”

They made their way back, reluctant to leave this free world for the walls that waited for them.


End file.
